May 2009
3 posts
40. When I drunkenly criticize her jukebox...
Here’s a modified neg, only with more fondling. You load your dollars into the jukebox, and if you’re lucky, it’s not just one of those internet jukeboxes that download whatever song you want. (The whole pleasure of the jukebox is scarcity.) She sidles up next to you and you say Pick some, go ahead and you lean in over the volume to see what she’s going to choose. Really,...
39. If I put him in my Mash note?
Mash notes are a time-honored playground tradition, also beloved of fun-seeking hipsters or other semi-adults with senses of humor. The deal is that you play a game that establishes your future spouse, a home, an occupation, and a type of vehicle you might drive.
Putting a fellow in your mash note is the rough equivalent of engaging in the classic flower-destruction exercise “he loves me,...
38. If I am sitting next to her on the plane?
There was a couple on my flight last night, who maybe even weren’t a couple. He kept touching her touchscreen for her, ordering Seagram’s ginger ale and Pringles and she leaned in towards him and laughed and pushed her half-cup of soda closer to his tray and there is nothing more obviously flirty. It was like watching a really good first date with every excuse to listen in because...