14. If I look fantastic in a suit, look fantastic in casual wear, look fantastic in ANYTHING, sound good, smell good … ?
Absolutely. In case you didn’t get the reference, Saturday Night Live recently featured a short called Don Draper’s Guide to Picking Up Women, with Jon Hamm in his role as the dashing lead of Mad Men. Draper is known for his ability to fall into affairs so easily that it looks accidental, and in this SNL segment, he delivers four secrets to his success. This is supposed to be funny — and it is, even if you haven’t seen Mad Men before — but Am I Flirting? would like to offer a look at the serious side of Draper’s advice.
Step 1: When in doubt, remain absolutely silent.
Although it’s a little counterintuitive, you can successfully flirt by saying nothing at all. This is great advice, actually, because in the age of yappy-ass bloggeurs, sometimes it’s refreshing to find someone who will shut up and pay attention to what you’re saying. A good listener, with body language that shows he’s listening, is playing in the big leagues of flirting.
Step 2: Be vague.
There’s something to be said for maintaining an air of mystery in the arena of flirting, but be careful with this one if you find yourself deep in relationship territory. It’s one thing not to talk about your family while you’re getting acquainted at a bar. When you’ve already moved in with a girl, and she still doesn’t know where you grew up? That’s just suspicious. Remember: everybody wants to sleep with Don Draper, but nobody wants to be married to him.
Step 3: Have a great name.
Even if your name is Nathaniel Schnirpus, you’re not doomed to a life of lackluster flirting. Introduce yourself with confidence, Nathaniel Schnirpus, and she’s not going to care about your name. Trust us. Alternately, for those of you with names that trip musically off a pretty girl’s tongue, don’t get complacent. “Don Draper is a DOUCHEBAG” has a musical ring to it, too.
Step 4: Be Don Draper.
Here, Draper gives a litany of the qualities that are essential to his character’s charm. If you have any of these, by all means use them. Remember, though, it’s enough to smell good, sound good and look fantastic in a suit. You don’t have to take the trouble to point it out, too. This bespeaks an insecurity that hardly qualifies as flirting. If you have ALL of these qualities, then put your computer away, leave the house, and bless the opposite sex with your irresistable charisma.
