18. If She Smiles and Really Listens When I Talk To Her?
For some reason, even the most simple gesture from a girl — a smile, making eye contact, nodding — can seem like flirting. Is it our Attention Starved Culture? Is it boys growing up without getting Love? Is it just that girls are too used to keeping cool distance in order to avoid gape-mouthed leers and catcalls?
And it’s not just with girls. A guy I know complains that other guys think he’s flirting with them, just because he takes time to really pay attention to them, even in small talk. That some men think he’s gay because he treats them like a person worth being nice to, ergo he wants to screw them.
So here’s the harsh take: girls aren’t always flirting with you if they’re smiling, nodding, and really listening to your cocktail banter. But that doesn’t mean they’re just playing you, either. Or that they don’t like you. “But what if she’s just being nice to me!?” When did “nice” become a consolation prize? They’re being nice to you! And nice tends to be a necessary precursor to flirting. Really, enjoy it. Or else you’ll risk becoming some kind of paranoid creep who accidentally dismisses actual-flirtation-smiles because what girl could really like you? I’m smiling as I say this, trust me.
